If you threw me into the world of "American Primeval," I would probably last a day tops. It takes place in 1857 Utah. The US Army, Mormons (aka Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and Native Americans (Paiute and Shoshone) are all hoping to claim or hold on to land in the name of God, country or ancestral heritage.
Throw into this mix pioneers, bounty hunters and people just hoping for a moment's peace. The terrain is tough and the weather can be punishing, wolves prowl, shelter isn't guaranteed. Arrows are shot, bullets are fired, axes are wielded and torches are lit not to illuminate but to burn down. On top of all this, there's no plumbing in sight.
Sara Rowell (Betty Gilpin) and her son Devin are on the run, trying to make their way from Boston to (the fictional) Crook Springs. It doesn't take long before they're thrust in the face of a truly wild west. Sara is determined to make her journey with her son, no threat deters her. She will not turn back.
Reclusive frontiersman Isaac Reed reluctantly agrees to guide them, using some of the survival and outdoor skills he learned growing up with the Shoshone. Together with Shoshone fugitive, Two Moons they aim to ride through danger to some kind of safety.
Also on the trail is one Jacob Pratt — a member of the Church of the Latter-day Saints; he's in search of his wife, Abish. They survive an event loosely based on the Mountain Meadows Massacre, but they end up separated.
Jacob, by the way, is played by Dane DeHaan who many will remember as New Goblin from The Amazing Spider-Man 2, but I'll always remember him as Gil in "Amigo," set during the Philippine American War.
His massacre also sets much of the plot in motion. It likewise gives Mormons and their leader, Brigham Young, a pretty bad image. Young and his inner circle are seen as duplicitous and ruthless. This gang is a far, far cry from the Osmonds. Curious history nerds can take a deep dive into the actual history as this series takes its liberties.
This show has many of its characters looking constantly, authentically bedraggled, filthy and sometimes bloodied. Who has time for laundry or a bath if you undergo the stress these characters are enduring. Sara, Isaac, Devin and Two Moons wear the same things over and over again.
I can't also help but ask, those characters who are both wounded and surrounded by all the dirt, who manage to live another day — did their wounds just magically not get infected? Why does no one get pus in this series?
Most of the action takes place out in the wild with its vast, stunning and intimidating vistas.
It also comes as no surprise that screenwriter Mark Smith also wrote "The Revenant." And while "The Revenant" had a young Jim Bridger played by Will Coulter, we see an older Bridger here, played by Shea Whigham.
Bridger was quite the legend and he did cross paths with Brigham Young — just not the way it's fictionalized here.
These are truly badlands and survival is a matter of wiles and luck. If there were an American 1857 version of me, I'd be in a city, probably just heading out to make annual pilgrimages to the tomb of Edgar Allan Poe every October. That would be adventure enough.
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All six episodes of "American Primeval" are out on Netflix.