THE reality is that not all marriages are made in heaven. Some are there at first, but then the relationship sours and the partners have to separate. What if there are children born into the partnership?Fathers are bound by law to support their children. Neglecting to provide support to a child is a violation of the Violence Against Women and Children (VAWC) law because it falls under 'economic deprivation.'But in this country where everything has to be spelled out in black and white, there is a need for an enabling law that would concretize this. One solution is House Bill 8987, 'An Act Punishing the Willful Failure to Pay Paternal Child Support,' filed in August 2023 by ACT-CIS party-list Rep. Erwin Tulfo. His co-authors include Jocelyn Tulfo and Edvic Yap, Benget Rep. Eric Go Yap, and Rep. Ralph Tulfo of Quezon City.Under the proposed law, any father who refuses or is unable to provide support to his child, even if he has the financial means to do so, may be imprisoned for six years. The bill is now being reviewed by the House Appropriations Committee to look at the funding needed to operationalize it. There is a need for an office in the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DWSD) to oversee the implementation of the law.The bill has gained support from several quarters, including the Commission on Human Rights (CHR). Commissioner Faydah Maniri Dumarpa said: 'This bill will help a lot of single mothers to get a source of livelihood from their ex-partners so that they can take care of the child, or their children, and send them to school. There have been a lot of single moms who have sought help from us on this matter.'After approval by the Committee on Welfare and Children, the bill has to pass the House plenary and the Senate and eventually be signed into law by President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The CHR is hoping that HB 8987 will hurdle all of this and become a law of the land, Dumarpa said.The bill's main proponent, Rep. Erwin Tulfo, said: 'This is a very big help and will be a big boost to our cause, knowing fully well that the CHR is behind our single moms in this issue. We need this law very badly because the law has to have teeth against these irresponsible parents who consistently refuse to give child support, especially during critical times when these fathers leave their family behind.'The lawmakers are proposing a penalty clause in the law of up to six years imprisonment for these 'deadbeat' fathers.During the hearings on the bill, it was agreed that the financial support from the fathers must depend on the needs of the child. The DSWD, in collaboration with the National Economic and Development Authority, will determine the amount that fathers must give as child support.Currently, there are around 15 million solo parents. 'We need to help the mothers secure the support that their children need. They will no longer have to beg or plead with their ex-partners or the fathers of their children for financial support,' said Tulfo.Apart from child support, how can fathers help their children when the partnership has gone sour?They can help their child by maintaining a consistent, loving presence and being open and honest about the situation. They should also listen to the child's feelings and prioritize quality time together. There should be no negative comments about the other parent, and they should collaborate with the other parent to ensure a good future for the child.The key ways by which a separated father can support his child include open communication lines. They can talk to the child about the separation using age-appropriate terms, acknowledging their feelings and reassuring them that both parents love them.The separated father should also maintain a consistent routine. They should try to keep the child's schedule as normal as possible, including regular visits with both parents. Quality time should also be prioritized. This includes making time with the child meaningful and focused on activities they enjoy.Actively listening to the child's concerns and validating their feelings is also important, and never badmouth the ex-partner in front of the child. Instead, working together with the other parent is important.Marriages are not made in heaven, but the children's lives need not be one in hell if the love is gone between the partners.
