Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to reflect on past relationships, friendships, and why they did not continue on. As I shared with my husband and close friends, it wasn't like former associates were bad or horrible. To this day, they are existing healthily in society and have success to show for it. Obviously, the 'villains' (for all we know, I am the villain in other people's story and that is okay) in movies never win or never find happiness again but this is also real life and there is no such thing as heroes and villains, just human beings who are creating lives for themselves.
Growing up, there was a black and white way of thinking – if we get along, they're good and if we don't, they're bad. There was no in between, no gray areas, and no room for empathy or compassion, just a judgment that relied heavily on how bad or good a person was. Of course, it took many hours of therapy to understand that in between black and white, there is gray and understanding that gray area is how we exist in the world. Of course, I am not talking about straight up bad stuff that is dangerous to both society and one's self, I am talking more about the daily things or to be even more specific, a misalignment of values.
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