A FEW articles ago I wrote about horror vacui, that fear of emptiness as I face this canvas called retirement after spending 38 years and three months in government service, most of it in the military.

As I look back and reflect though, I realize that there is more to this space than meets the eye. The more I dig deeper into things, the more I get this feeling that I have not really known or understood fully the organization that I have grown with in the last 38 years. Lately, what I discovered was so shocking that I don't know where to start. Indeed, there is much to write if my intention is to roast the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) that I am still part of. Yes, as I was sworn in as a reservist immediately upon retirement; I am very much still a member of it.