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Sixth of seven parts
I have used the following story many times to
illustrate a point and I will do it again. I was at a friend’s
house one day having merienda. He was an executive of a prestigious
corporation, but it soon became clear that he was not as successful
with his married life as he was with his business affairs.
As we sat chatting, his wife served us snacks
and coffee. Suddenly, she knocked over a glass and he snapped at
her. “How stupid of you!” he shouted. The woman didn’t respond
but, humiliated and embarrassed, she quietly wiped the table and
retreated into the kitchen. I was shocked because she was a kind and
gentle woman who did not deserve to be treated in such a manner. The
following day, this same executive called me and, in a panic, asked
me to come to his home. I rushed to him and, as he wept, he showed
me a note written by his wife. It simply read: “I’m leaving.”
She had packed her things and walked away, never to return.
You cannot demean the one you claim to love and
expect to be believed. You cannot humiliate and disrespect a partner
and expect to be loved indefinitely. We all have our limits, our
breaking point beyond which we cannot be pushed.
When you can watch the one you love suffer and
cry and not feel anything about her pain, your love should be
questioned. At least the intensity of your love can be challenged.
When the warm and tender heart of love grows
cold and hard, that is the sign of a dying love. It is the end of
love, even if the couple refuses to accept it.
Once love is lost, it is difficult to resurrect
it. It is possible, but never can it be the same again. The scars of
battle will remain no matter how successful is the reconciliation.
The scars always remind us of the pain suffered in the past. I know
a good man who has a couple of nasty scars on his forehead. They are
not nice to look at, but I don’t dare ask him what happened for
fear of offending him. One thing sure, however, is that he must have
bled a whole lot before he was stitched up. Those scars are constant
reminders of some past pain. In the same way, we carry the scars of
past emotional and psychological hurt.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makita
City.
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