Nissan’s Teana confidently goes all cushy and refined when most luxury cars try sporty

SOMEWHERE, sometime, somehow, it happened. In today’s automotive landscape almost all carmakers have decided that their sedans must steer and handle and ride like BMW’s 3 Series and 5 Series models.

Mercedes-Benz seems like it’s abandoning its predominantly luxury leanings by building too many “sporty“ sedans. Volvo has recently been purporting BMW-ness with its S60. Infiniti, Acura, Hyundai, to an extent Lexus, have also been stiffening up. Even nameplates closer to the Teana’s ilk have embraced dynamics over posh. Now, this shift can’t possibly be blamed on motoring journalists—even if they keep coming all over themselves on BMW’s merits, myself included—because they really aren’t that influential, no matter what some regard themselves.

So it must a case then of car company engineers and marketing pimps copying one another. And the results that come out of it are compact and executive-class cars with hefty steering and a road-hugging ride quality that, sadly, aren’t on a par with the BMW benchmark. In refreshing contrast, the Nissan Teana eschews such approach and goes all soft and plush.

And honestly, I like it. The Teana 250XL pictured here may not have the numerous cabin toys and 3.5-liter engine of the top-model 350XV but its 185-horsepower, 232-Newton-meter, 24-valve, 2.5-liter V6 engine remains a model of hushed, silky movements as it pushes the car discreetly, although still having enough oomph when needed. No surprise here, considering this power plant belongs to Nissan’s VQ series, which boast of multiple Engine of the Year titles. The continuously variable transmission that goes with it (lacking the paddle shifts found on the 350XV) is equally smooth too, thanks to the inherent quality of such gear-less transmissions. But that said, the inherently sluggish off-the-line response of such transmissions is also evident in the Teana, although hustling isn’t in the car’s character to begin with.

And not making haste is quite apparent in the car’s cabin, which is dominated by wide expanses of soothing, featureless leather beige-ness that are broken up in places by dark wood-like panels and the obligatory silvery trim. The usual multimedia/automatic climate control/power driver’s seat are present in the 250XL too, along with a reverse camera (the first I’ve actually found to be useful, unlike in other cars where the images are so blurry or distorted—or both) and a push-button start function. It’s glaring though that the car misses out on the Teana’s top-model’s steering wheel-mounted audio controls, especially considering the 250XL’s P1.690-million price tag.

But on the road, there aren’t much, if any, to gripe about with the Teana. It glides and floats rather than get all perkily sporty, its suspension mix of struts and coils and multilinks happily absorbent and uncompromisingly dedicated to pliancy. The car’s steering can’t get any vaguer in feel, lighter to turn and quicker to respond if it’s hooked to an ocean liner, and yet it doesn’t matter because the car’s NVH-cocooning refinement just totally sedates the senses that urgency suddenly seems irrelevant, if not stupid. You crave for a truly comfy shuttle? Drive this thing.

But, wait. Motoring journalists should go for cars that launch to 1,000kph in a sneeze and which have suspensions that rattle the brain, brakes that send people flying through the windshield, steering that empties blood from one side of the body and exhausts that liquefy earwax. And I do like those things—for 10 days in a year. On really special days BMW’s 1, 3, or 5 Series cars, as well as a short list of others, should joyfully provide the sporty fix sans the difficulties caused by vicious brakes and suspensions. But on the repetitive, humdrum existence of daily living marked by office commutes, school runs and weekend mall trips, there is quite no luxury and comfort that the Teana can’t aptly serve. Life is already tough enough. It’s best to pamper yourself.